Sheesh it's late....

It's 2 am here, but I wanted to express to everyone how much your comments mean to me.  I am writing this for myself and for my family but it's so very good to know others are reading.  All your comments here on the blog, as well as emails and facebook messages really lighten my heart.  I am sorry I have not personally responded to all the messages, it's just a little too close to home right now.  Thank you everyone, you really are a blessing to me and my parents as I share some of the messages with them as well.

Much love,
Deb :)

A favorite pic of Momma :)

Dad

My father is one of the best men I will ever know in my life.  Devon is another, Jerry is as well.   These are men I hold in my highest regard.  I have been very fortunate to have some very good examples of what a man should be in my life.   My Uncles Jim and Herb are other examples. These men are not perfect, and they are very different from each other and they are very human, so very human.  These men make mistakes but they are good men.  All examples of what good men should be, to their wives, to their families.  Devon and Jerry are young, I know they will persist.  The others are older, they are tried, they have persisted.  Again these men are not perfect, but in my life they have been examples of a good man.  I am blessed to have had them in my life, not every woman grows up knowing that there are truly good men out there, goodness knows there are many bad. 

My father is a good man, he is wise and he can fix anything.  When I say anything I mean anything.  We never had plumbers or mechanics growing up, never an electrician would stop by, appliance repairman, roofer etc...we didn't need them, we have Dad.  Dad is a self taught man.  He didn't go to school to learn these things in fact he didn't have a father himself to teach him.  Dad's father, was not a good man.  I never knew my grandfather, he left my grandmother early in Dad's life to raise seven children by herself.  My grandmother was a strong, tough woman, but that's another story.  Dad has manuals galore, and he learned how to fix things and he dragged his kids along for the ride.  Jerry and I helped roof the house one summer.  Another year we helped dig a sewer line.  Fix a refrigerator, dishwasher, sheet rock a room, run electrical wire, paint the house, change our own oil, a tire, spark plugs, brakes and much more.  Dad can do it all, he has made numerous pieces of furniture, and the house Mom and Dad live in is a tribute to what he has done over the years.  He's finished the basement, redone all the ceilings, the kitchen, the bathrooms, and so, so very much more.  Nothing is the same, even the entry way.  My Dad is amazing.

Dad has never been unfaithful to Mom, not once.  Dad has never been unfaithful to his children.  He always provided for us, spiritually as well as financially.  To say Dad loves the Lord is too simple.  To say Dad loves Mom is equally as hard.   He doesn't just love them, it's beyond my words to describe that Love.  You have to know my father to know the intensity of my father's love that fuel the meaning of my sentences.  My father has been a servant to my mother in these last days.  Most would stumble over the word servant.  A servant, not as one who is in bondage, but a person who labors or exerts himself for the benefit of another.  My Dad has been a true example of self-sacrifice during this time.  He never complains, he does everything for Mom gladly.  He gives her medicines to her, helps her to the bathroom, gets her water, shaves ice for her, brings a hot wash cloth for her face, puts her favorite television shows on, sleeps with a baby monitor by his bed and never gets enough sleep because he checks on Mom several times in the night. Attentively by her side as much as he can, my father has personally taken on Mom's care and will see it through till the end.

However to say my father can fix anything, is not true.  He can't fix this.  He can't fix Mom.  Men need to be able to fix things, there is a frustration, an awful sense of being out of control, of not being able to do one thing to make this better.  At first there was anger, and questions of why.  Now as we get closer to the end, there is a peace that fills every room.  "And the peace of God, which is deeper than all knowledge, will keep your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."  Phillipians 4:7  This peace is hard to describe but I know many have prayed for it, and it's exactly everything you want it to be in this situation.  It's uncanny and at the same time familiar and expected, and beautiful.  And Dad has been a beautiful example of love, of a servant heart, of how good a man, with God's help can be, and while he knows he can't fix this he does know with all his heart that his Abba, his Father will take this sorrow and will feel it as much and even more and will send His peace.  

         Servant Song

Will you let me be your servant Let me be as Christ to you Pray that I may have the grace To let you be my servant, too We are pilgrims on a journey We are brothers on the road We are here to help each other Walk the mile and bear the load I will hold the Christ light for you In the night-time of your fear I will hold my hand out to you Speak the peace you long to hear I will weep when you are weeping When you laugh I'll laugh with you I will share your joy and sorrow Till we've seen this journey through