Jerry Dale

How is a hospital gown like insurance?
You´re never covered as much as you think you are. :)

M.J. the physical therapist told that joke to us. 

Most of you know Mom is dying, but not every one knows the details.   It was a week ago on Mon 2/21 that the doctors stopped giving mom nutrition (artificially through the tubes).   Mom and Dad made the decision to stop the artificial nutrition and leave the number of days she has to live in God's hands.  Mom is tired of doctor's appointments, chemo, artificial hydration and the works.  I respect her decision to live out her days as she sees fit.  The cancer has moved from breast, to liver, to bile duct and finally now her stomach and small intestines.  They found food in her stomach that had been there for weeks and found her body is no longer efficiently digesting food so she is not able to eat any food, just fluids, and even those she throws up.  Cancer is the cause but officially she will die of dehydration.  The doctors say it's a humane way to die, because you just fade away.

Mom and I are very different.  Dad and I are more alike, maybe that's why we butt heads so often.  Jerry Dale on the other hand is very much like Mom.  Now I'm not saying Mom loves Jerry more than me, but I suspect maybe just a little.  It's alright he's very easy to love.  Mom and Jerry have always been the peace makers in the family.

"Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God." Matthew 5:9

It is very difficult to impart how much I love my brother as well.  He's a calm place in a storm, he's like my Dad a lot.  A strong place to rest, capable and knowledgeable.  But he's also very much like my Mother, tender and very soft hearted.  Having both Jerry and I, well actually all four of us (Mom considers all of us her kids, Becca and Devon included) back home was a blessing to Mom.  She had her family around her.  It was a blessing to me as well, living in Canada I had forgotten how much I love Jerry and Becca, and miss them.

Saying goodbye to Jerry and Becca last Wednesday was one of the harder things to do, I can't imagine being Jerry, having to say goodbye to Mom and know it was the last time he would probably see her alive.  People say I am strong for staying with my parents, but I think it is much harder to have to go.  Jerry Dale is Mom's baby she and I laughed while getting her back into her bed I said that if Jerry were here he would probably crawl on to the small hospital bed to hug her. (Jerry is a big guy too!) I have seen Jerry wrap his arms around Mom and hug her off the ground.  Yes, Jerry is very much like Dad, strong.  He is very much like Mom, soft.  He's the best of both worlds wrapped up in a crazy sense of humor, we love you very much Jer and miss you every hour.

"Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted."  Matthew 5:4

A Twin Bed

Engagement Photo

We had a hospital bed delivered today.  It's really helpful, it elevates up and down and you can raise the head or feet.  As Mom is more and more dehydrated her body is retaining water, and her legs and feet are very swollen.  Being able to put her feet up will help with the swelling.

The only downside thus far is that it's a twin bed, room for only one...

Wedding December 27,1969

I imagine you could count on one hand the number of times Mom and Dad have slept apart.  Dad never had to travel for work, and pretty much where Dad went, Mom went.  This is the first in a long line of things that Dad will have to get "used to" doing alone.  After 41 years of marriage how do you get "used to" doing anything alone?  How do you say goodbye to the other half of yourself?  Mom and Dad have a deep love for each other.  More deep than I realize I believe.  There was never any question that Mom and Dad were a united front, never even a question of divorce.  There is loyalty there, there is security in their union.  There is a wonderful devotion and example of what a marriage should be, truly fulfilling their vows to each other "till death do us part"

My heart aches for my Father.  As hard as it is for Jerry and I to lose our Mother, it's immensely worse for my Dad.  Please remember him especially in your prayers.