Thank you, Lilly Anne.

Taken in Greely, Colorado.  To show a boy what he was missing! :)  Go Mom! The boy wasn't Dad by the way.  Glad Dad knew a good thing when he saw it!

Visiting her brother Jim, in Greely, Colorado

The wisdom of someone who has walked the road you are walking is invaluable.  A good friend from college stopped by to visit today.  She lost her father to cancer about a year and half ago.  A hug from a friend who knows what you are going through is very comforting.  My friend brought her daughter with her.  Lilly Anne is just over a year old, and so full of life!  A very sweet calm spirit she was a joy to have around and Mom loved every minute.  Lilly would run around Mom's chair, when she got around the back she would peek at Mom and exclaim something in a language only babies and mothers understand.  The joy and wonder of a young one is so contagious.

It's hard for people to offer comfort these days, no one seems to know what to say when you are just waiting for the inevitable.  They search for words but the usual "everything will be OK", "this too shall pass" are not applicable here.  When Mom and I talk she says " I have nothing to look forward to", and we talk about heaven but she is right, it's all down hill from here.  We are waiting.  As time goes on, less is said, words aren't as important as a hug, or a squeeze of the hand.

Graduation Picture

Another thing I have noticed is how so much of social life, family life revolves around food.  Mom can't eat anything, only liquids, and even those don't stay down lately.  But she is still hungry.  While preparing for my trip down here I was thinking of things we could do as a family.  Going to my favorite Chinese food restaurant, is out of the question.  People come to visit and want to bring a casserole.  Dad and I cooked some dinner the other night but it's unfair to Mom.  It was tacos her favorite, and it made her stomach growl.

Mom is getting weaker, she needs a walker to walk now and Hospice will be delivering a hospital bed tomorrow.  Sleeping lying down is too painful now, all the pressure from the tumor rests on her stomach and intestines.  She sleeps more through out the day.  She drinks less.  And all the while the physical body is starting to shut down, her brain, her speech, her laughter is still the same.  It's an odd blessing to still be so mentally alert, it's hard to accept she is dying when she sounds the same as she always has.

We have a board in our hallway that is filled with messages from Mom's loved ones, words of encouragement and love and farewells.  Notes just for her.  I know not everyone will be able to see Mom before she goes, so if you would like to send a message for her to me,  I would be happy to add your message to our board.